The humble lil grave we lit candles & spent some time talking to every night
I knew you loved fried chicken; got you some Uncle Bob & your favorite treats which miraculously dissipated a few days back
I dreamt of you again tonight when I was trying to take an evening nap.
There we lots of guilt and I could only recall I was doing something I didn't really wanted to do (to fetch someone whom I have no idea of from a very far distance); I really wanted to go home that night and if I have known it was your final night, I wouldn't even go out and took you to the vet instead.
What does birthdays/ reunions/ writing proposals/ wedding and even holiday means without you now?
Without you to look forward to come home to everyday?
Without your smile to cheer the usually bubbly me?
Without me starting to be a cruel and cold person?
I could feel the change in me drastically.
I've started questioning why did so many things happen?
At times why does the sun even shine again?
Why can't some people start growing up and complaining about every menial things?
Why don't some people have brains to think about their own lives?
Your death has made me realised so much
That what we did and all the unnecessary emotions are pure bullshit
All I want is to have you back in my arms
All I was was a simple life we had back then in my small car
Me working in November and giving you the best dog food/ treats
Although I earn just enough but I was happy to have you & Tyrus by my side.
Today is the 15th; if you were still around I would have bought you a lot of treats.
I do miss you very much; much more than yesterday
and it keeps growing more everyday
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