Thursday, July 22, 2010

Dear Dee Dee,

Its gonna be 2 months since you left us. We still miss you as much.
Mummy still lights the candles and I still feed the cat because I think its related to you.
Che Che has been really tired lately. More responsibilities laid on my shoulders;
I don't know if its good or bad but it is a good start for my career.
Really wish you're here to see me doing all these.

I have been coming home early lately - something you really wanted me to do when you're still around.
The guilt is still in my heart and there are many thgs which I still cant forgive myself
Especially to give in easily to someone's advise not to bring you to the vet.
Perhaps you would survive if I did brought you.
I still hate myself for letting you go in pain. I really wish I could hold you in my arms again.

If all the signs you've given me about reincarnation is true, I believe I might be able to see you very soon.
Please guide me to where you are now so I could being you home again.
I believe you're born a pom again.
I believe our destiny did not end so fast...
Somewhere around, I truly believe I will find and be with you again.

I love you Dee Dee....will still buy you the treats even if you won't eat it anymore.
Deeply inside me, I know you still live. 
My life has been very empty without you.
I should and will never be with a man who cannot love my dog as I loved him.

Perhaps if he has been more attentive and love both you & me more, he would understand how important you are to me. 
Yes I will never forget what he degraded you.
Maybe these are tell signs about this relationship. 
Thanks for giving me the courage to make me realise what has been going wrong in my life.
My choice & expectation on others. 
You're too important for me to lose, yet I lost it. 
I seriously do not know what more must I lose to learn to make a choice to love myself more. 

To demand for love which I truly deserve.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Dee Dee,

How are you today? I dreamt of u playing on my laps a few days back.
That you're in pain and refusing to eat.
I hope you're no longer in pain anymore.
Truly believe that we will be reunited very soon...cant wait to have you in my arms again.

I choose to believe you're happier now. 

Cheh Cheh yang yang Dee Dee <3

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Its a flower-y day for Dee Dee,

Cheh cheh went to the market today and got you lotsa flowers..hope you like them.
Mum lighted so many candles for you to make those days where we ran out of candles.
Wish you're happy playing with your friends. 
Cheh cheh could still feel you presence sumtimes..mummy too.

Yesterday I was driving around the park and wished you were around so I could bring you to pee at every tree. 
Nevermind, you could run freely now. 

Cheh printed this for you Dee Dee

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Dee Dee's fren the greedy cat. 

Dear Dee,

I'm not sure if this is you or not; it has 4 white paws. Plump body like yours and he eats your treats and chewed on your rawhide. I fed him some of your leftover can food. He was just licking the treats like how you did. Toying around with it and staring at me most of the time as I was trying to snap his video. 

If it's really you, I don't mind feeding him everyday or keep him at home. 
Cheh Cheh have a big cry today and was without you by my side. I really miss you Dee Dee and wished you're here with me. All I could do now is hug those plush bears and speak to them like I did to you besides speaking on your resting place; lighting candles to make sure your night are not lonely and dark. 

I saw Che Che's friend's chihuahua who resembles you. Really so adorable. It keeps me questioning now are u a chihuahua/ pom/ spitz mix or what are you? Of coz it doesn't matter much coz what matters is that I love you very much regardless of your breed. 

I believe its going to be soon where we will be reunited again. 

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I walked happily to your resting place, pats the soil, lights up the candle, spoke to you and brought some of ur treats for u. 

Although I'm unsure have I accepted ur departure; but one thing I'm sure is I love you yesterday, today, forever - no one can take this bond & love away from us. 

Missing you very much my dearest Dee Dee.

Cheh cheh bought some flowers for you 2 days ago and the stupid snails have started eating the petals. I brought the salt and teach the whole bunch of them a damn lesson for taking away what's urs; just like how I protected you when you're still around. Even though you're gone, I'll keep protecting you and all the memories we shared. 

This is my promise to you.
Sumtimes I wish you could still see me (although I do feel your presence at home every night)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Dear Dee Dee,

It has been raining very much for the past few days. Couldn't light any candles for you. Then I was away for a few days; trying to catch up pieces of my life. Just like I told you many times - the reason I wanted to go home everyday is because you're waiting for me at the door. You still are, I could feel it.

All along I thought it was only me until mama said she felt the same way too; that you walked pass her every night. Then I realised I'm not the only one who could feel your presence. Medical practitioners might call it hallucination but I personally call it love. 
You came into my dreams a few days ago. I miss you terribly, almost every night when I sleep at LG's bed, you come into my mind subconciously. It might be guilt, it might be remorse because I gotto admit after being with him I spend less time with you. I really apologise for that. Sometimes its just soo hard to juggle between work especially working so far from home and everyone who revolves around it. 
Everytime I come home seeing you waiting, it makes me feel even more guilt. 
I missed those times. I won't let you wait no more. 

I lit 2 birthday candles and 2 big white candles for you last night. To make up for those days which I didn't. I also brought some treats and break it into pieces so you do not have to munch it with your toothless gums. 

There we much thoughts about getting a new dog, however I don't think I'm prepared to accept someone new in my life. I believe in reincarnation, hence I'm still waiting for it. 

I hope you keep yourself warm with the mattress and pillows we covered you in.