Saturday, March 26, 2011

10 months now...

Dear dee dee,

It has been almost 10 months since you've left me and this wonderful world you've spent your whole life with. Since the last time I blogged to you, so many things has happened. Life is so different now but the one thing that did not change is I'm still pining for you and hoping that I would be able to see you one day.
Its a rainy Saturday afternoon, best time to laze and cuddle you to sleep. I spent too little times with you when you're ageing and hoping I would be home earlier every night. 

We have adopted Pixie (an insane crazy poodle) but my heart doesn't feel the same for her. She was an abused and kinda home-less pup, so we decided to give her a better life. Am sure you've seen her around playing near your resting place, getting her hair burnt on your candles.

Everytime I spoke to you, I wish you met this wonderful man who picked me from some unappreciative being. How I wished you have a chance to meet him. Perhaps If I've known him earlier, you're still around humping on the dolls. 

Life is a very weird and unexpected journey. We walked, climbed, fall and meet someone unexpected along the journey. Sometimes you are united and sometimes you just bypass each other. Another once important person in my life almost lost his life. Seeing it was painful but glad he did what was right ie to end our union hence I can be freed of all the pain & sufferings of sharing him with another woman.

I really wish my journey of search has ended, its been a tiring road. 

It would be nice if you're still around coz I have so much to share with you. 

Life is great if you have a good companion.

Cheh cheh love you very much Dee Dee....really hope you're doing fine up there.

Till we speak again :)

Hugs *

Friday, November 5, 2010

Dear Dee Dee,

Its been a while since I updated this space..updating less doesn't mean Che Che dun love u anymore. I still do, as much as I did lastime. 

We went to All Souls day last Sunday and everyone who has relatives visiting them had a few candles lighted & flowers placed on their graveyard. I'm not sure do we celebrate All Souls day for furkids but I'm sure I meet you more than I meet my ancestor. 

I didn't want your resting place to be empty, so cheh cheh bought you lotsa flowers too :)
Really hope you like them; did put on some ornamental stones on your resting place so weed doesn't get on your way..I don;t want your place to be messy & unattended. 

For the first time last night, I spoke about your death with my fiends. About the questions, the regret, the guilt and the anger I hold on Mama for not telling me the truth on whatever that has happened to you which led to your departure. 

I dreamt of you again last night; I know you're still with me at home sometimes coz I really felt it. 
Several days back I think I saw someone who resembles you in the ad; I was very ecstatic. For an instance I thought it was you with the eyes. However the location has deterred me..I believe if you're meant to be with me, you'll wait for me to go KL next week to see you. 

Dee, please give me a sign as its so hard to find you. I'm starting to realised what I hoped of might just be a lie to myself. The world is so huge; will reincarnations ever happen? Will you be a pomeranian again? Or will we hold each other's hands again?

Still loving you sooo much; Like I said over and over again, I would trade almost anything to have you with me for a few more year. I love you; indeed I do..always and forever

Monday, September 27, 2010

Dee Dee,

Che Che went to town to get you some flowers - in white, yellow & pink also colored flowers to place on your resting place.
However it rained heavily when I got home, hence the flowers are still lying on my bed with your favourite bear - the only thing of your which I did not bury along..

There are still some white chrysanthemum outside but I just wanted to get you more....I wish you're happy up there. It has been raining alot, so you could sleep and sleep in your favourite Christmas bed and yellow pillow/ bolster set.

Che che miss you...still do everyday. Its been raining alot and I cant light candles for you too. Hope you wont be in darkness.

Hugsss... gudnite Dee Dee. Love you, have a sweet dream and Che Che will too of the memories we shared :)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Mooncake Festival

Dear Dee, Aunty Sim told me that you were born in Mid Autumn, I'm not sure how true is that? Can't even find a way to verify it as she has also left for a better place. The last trip we went was futile as her whole family has moved away and no more dogs were left behind. We couldn't find any of your lineage now.

If you were around you'ld be around 11 now :) 

Would love to buy some mooncakes for you eventhough you might not be able to eat it, will just place it at your resting place. 

Love you Dee Dee, I still do although I seldom blog about it.

I jut wish if you are reincarnated, you'll have a good life. that's all I could wish for since the chances of meeting you again seems to be diminishing. 

Please look up to the moon tomorrow and I will too and hopefully we can see each other tomorrow.

Che Che miss you very much

hope people will be eternal. and we share the same moon although we're thousands of miles away

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

3 months now

Dear Dee Dee,
It has been 3 months since you left me so suddenly. It felt like the longest time ever because life is so empty without you by my side. I wished I could buy you mooncakes you loved, walk you around the new place where trees have been chopped down, take you to pupz outings and boil your favourite egg yolks. 

Sadly all that I can't do now without you by my side. 
Have not walked back lane since I last walked you before you died.
Neither am I interested on which dog resides near our neighbourhood.
All I could do today is to sit by your grave, spend some time talking to you
before the egg's water started boiling.
Hope you like the egg yolks we've used to share.
Really do not know what else I can do to make you happier.

Tears always roll freely whenever I start talking to you.
Many thought I'm insane and emo for always missing you
For not letting you go.
Yet do they understand what both of us have been thru?
Would they just forget their loved ones once they are gone?
Or simply bury all their memories along with the earth 6 feet down?

I need no sympathy from anyone.
People around me tells me its just a phase.
Is that so? 
Will you still remember & love me ?
Will you still recognise me when I walk past you?
Will I ever meet you again in this life?
Or am I always lying to myself that you'll
reincarnate and be reunited with me?

I miss you very much Dee Dee.
The fears of seeing you age and leaving me is my biggest fear.
Yet I did not expect this to happen so soon.
I always hope for more birthdays to come.

Getting another dog to move on is so hard
Because I realised what I wanted is you,
Not just another adorable dog to jump on my laps. 
Nor any pure breeds to parade around.
All I want is the same Dee Dee
who loved me selflessly,
Who accompanied thru the hardest periods in my life. 

I love you Dee Dee.
I really do.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dear Dee Dee,

The flowers cheh cheh bought before going to KL is drying up after more than a week. 
Efforts to look for you in Thailand proves futile, all the dogs look sickly and none has anything which can make me fall like I see you. 
Cheh cheh & kor kor went to see another pom today and although she is cute, but I just felt it wasn't you.
I believe you're still somewhere waiting for cheh cheh to take you home...I hope you could give me a sign to lead me to you. 

As much as people say they will meet their lovers in afterlife, I want to have you again as my baby after ur previous life. Please tell me you want too..I really miss you very much. 
When Jimmy says Chokdee is sick, I wish you could give me a chance to go to the vet too. I don't mind paying very much if only I could hold you in my hands...
Really love you have a better life now Dee Dee

Cheh cheh miss you...the room is clean now but you;re not around with me.

Its raining, cold and would be nice if you could be indoors rather than getting yourself wet in the soil.

The rain still hasnt stop, I still cant light candles and lay the chrysanthemums on your resting place. 
Dee... cheh cheh really want to hold you tight and apologise for not being sensitive enough to your sickness.

I love you and still do very much, which makes getting a dog a difficult task. 

I only want to hold you in my arms

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Che Che miss you very much!
I believe we are gonna be reunited soon; if all the signs you've given me is right.
Cant wait for the day to come so soon.
I still smile when I see your smiling pictures;
Thanks for all the laughter & joy you've brought into our lives.

Luv u Dee Dee