Wednesday, September 1, 2010

3 months now

Dear Dee Dee,
It has been 3 months since you left me so suddenly. It felt like the longest time ever because life is so empty without you by my side. I wished I could buy you mooncakes you loved, walk you around the new place where trees have been chopped down, take you to pupz outings and boil your favourite egg yolks. 

Sadly all that I can't do now without you by my side. 
Have not walked back lane since I last walked you before you died.
Neither am I interested on which dog resides near our neighbourhood.
All I could do today is to sit by your grave, spend some time talking to you
before the egg's water started boiling.
Hope you like the egg yolks we've used to share.
Really do not know what else I can do to make you happier.

Tears always roll freely whenever I start talking to you.
Many thought I'm insane and emo for always missing you
For not letting you go.
Yet do they understand what both of us have been thru?
Would they just forget their loved ones once they are gone?
Or simply bury all their memories along with the earth 6 feet down?

I need no sympathy from anyone.
People around me tells me its just a phase.
Is that so? 
Will you still remember & love me ?
Will you still recognise me when I walk past you?
Will I ever meet you again in this life?
Or am I always lying to myself that you'll
reincarnate and be reunited with me?

I miss you very much Dee Dee.
The fears of seeing you age and leaving me is my biggest fear.
Yet I did not expect this to happen so soon.
I always hope for more birthdays to come.

Getting another dog to move on is so hard
Because I realised what I wanted is you,
Not just another adorable dog to jump on my laps. 
Nor any pure breeds to parade around.
All I want is the same Dee Dee
who loved me selflessly,
Who accompanied thru the hardest periods in my life. 

I love you Dee Dee.
I really do.


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